One of my best friends is getting married next month. It is going to be a huge change for him, and for all of us who know them. No matter what people think, it changes things. And I think it does in a really wonderful way. There are a lot of people who “test” out marriage before their vows by living together, but there is something profound and special about changing your identity, fundamentally, to be a spouse.
So that’s happening. I went through my own little transformation this past year into a “mom” and that has kept me in a whole new routine. It has been wake, feed, dress her, shower me, drop off at work, work, pick up after work, feed her, bathe her, play with her, put her to bed, feed me, bed me. No longer are the nights where I catch up with friends on a whim at a local wine bar. Nor are there weekends where I fall into bed at will and wake up at will. It’s just a lot different for me, too.
One of my favorite things about this friendship is that we both grow and learn at similar rates. He and I have been friends thick as thieves through some awful stuff and some really huge joys. Break-ups, job changes, family strife, friend strife.It is so nice to have trust with someone for a long time, he is so special to me.
This past weekend, we celebrated him. He is about to marry a really, really amazing person. We are going to celebrate them together next month. But this month, it was all about my favorite dude (who isn’t my husband). We decided to do the things we used to do when we were in our twenties. And it felt like such an experience, I cannot help but want to relay what (I think!) I learned. Here’s she short list.
- The new bunch of cool kids are cool kids. They work hard and play hard. Just like we did.
- No matter what, even going back to the same stomping grounds with the same people, you can’t ever feel as free again. You are a different person now. And that’s not a bad thing.
- It’s not worth the hangover… anymore.
- I don’t miss being 25. It has only gotten better. For real.
- Good friends grow with you. And they let you grow.
“The Skulls” is worth watching no matter how early it comes on in the morning.
So thanks, Adam, for taking that trip down memory lane, from having drinks in a dive, drinks at the current hot spot, and dancing at Mad Planet, just like we used to. It’s funny.. there have probably been decades worth of adults going back there, and thinking the same thing…